Some things aren’t meant to be

It’s hard to believe that a beautiful girl like YOU could just come and go. It was entirely my decision to let you go this time. I promised you  that I’ll never leave you, but, in the end, you left me.I promised never to ignore you, but in the end, you ignored me. You made it look like I didn’t even exist at all.

You have a career, so do I. You have new friends, so do I. You’re always busy, so do I. You left me with no choice but to do this. Making this decision is by far the hardest thing for me to do. Leaving you was the last thing in my mind. Finally, I realised that the point of waiting for you was indeed wasting my time. Each conversation comes down to me at the losing end.

At first, I loved you as a friend, then, I had you as my lover. But as time goes by and the love grew stronger, I grew weaker. The day we wen our separate ways, things started to go shitty. I started to love you even more. As time goes by, I started to hate you. You abandon me. I was thinking of you every minute. Have you thought about me? I guess not. I loved you as a friend now, but what about you?

You made a wish once, that you’ll see me in 2 years. You can have your wish now. I’ll hand that wish to you. Don’t try to contact me or wishing me Happy Birthday, because you don’t exist anymore. I don’t exist anymore.

Still human

What have been going on between me for the past week have finally taken it’s toll. I do miss you. And i still love you. But things start to go under. It’s feels like as though we’re drifting from one another. Though the promises i made can never be fully fulfilled, but i’ll always be there. I never had the guts to express myself to you. Even when you’re gone, things don’t change. Matter of fact is, you are my first.

Maybe i was harsh at you. Maybe I miss treated you. Or maybe I didn’t do much to communicate with you.

I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve never liked seeing you cry for my misdeeds. I’ve always looked at you as my angel.

Tears are flowing from my bloodshot eyes as i type this, I’m sorry dear, angels and humans are not meant to be together. I’ll hold on to the fond memories of us together.

What else can I say

‘I have something that I love so long, but my friends keep telling that I was wrong’

Driving lessons started on the previous thursday night. Something new to look forward now, instead of polishing boots and doing lunges and squats.

Left4Dead rules. Zombie may rule the world, but the 4 of us are there to take it back. Wish we can play with more players around.

nothing new

So, it’s been quite some since this blog is updated.

Nothing much hapening in my life. Same old shit everyday. Training, class, training, class and blah blah blah.

Going to get my bike license though. Say, maybe after 2 months. Much convinient if i had one.

Nothing new.

Say, it’s been a while since this blog have been updated.

16th August marked my 22nd birthday. Nothing special though happen though. Just a normal gathering here and there although the worse part is that i have to book in to camp on the very day itself and you wouldn’t want to know about how i feel.

I was quite surprise with some people who knew about my birthday. I didn’t expect a lot of people to know about that.

Got into camp, i got a load of surprise. Squad mates sang the birthday song in the middle of the coy courtyard and at the end of it, thanks to some people, splashed water on me so much that they had my walk-out attire all drenched, including my undies. THANKS A LOT. Then Monday came, we had a second celebration in camp, this time with our FI and OC. Got ourselves pizza and a cake. It’s really something. Very much appreciated although i’m not the birthday party kind of person.

Motorbike license is going to hold for another 2-3 months. I’m going to start from the top then work my way down. Then once license done, GILERA RUNNER/PIAGGIO FLY. Woohhoooo

Realis(z)ation

It’s quite amazing that i’ve actually enjoyed training in HTA. Seriously, i thought it would be a drab but it turned out to be quite fun. It would be even better if you have a great squad who’ll mess around with your superiors. Although it seems that my life in HTA is monotonous, i enjoyed the monotony.

5:00am – wake up, brush teeth, wash up

5:30am – water parade

6:30am – either foot drills or physical training

8:30am – breakfast

9:00am – 4:30pm – lessons

4:30pm – 6:30pm – either foot drills or physical training

then after dinner, it’s polishing boots time or “talk cock” sessions in the bunk. It’s a daily routine. Somehow i enjoyed it.

Though i miss those times when i’m free to roam, seek and look out for things i want to do the most. But the things i miss the most is weekdays. I love weekdays so much that i feel nothing for the weekend. I guess it’s because weekends ends faster than weekdays ever since I’m inside the training facility. But what the heck! It’s a sacrifice i’m more than willing to take.

Countless push ups, march and run from one point to the other, compete on who’s boots are the most outstanding ones and so on.

To think of it, it’s been 3 weeks. So fast!

Where have all the bootboys gone? – A.C.A.B

I still remember those glory days
When no one dared to get in our way
It only seems like yesterday
Seein’ boots and braces all the way

We used to live out on the streets
we used to drink and used to steal to eat
We shared the joy and we shared the pain
I’ve never thought you call it a day
We were so proud, we were so strong
But now where have all the bootboys gone
The joy we had, the pain we shared
Are always on my mind…

D-day

Tomorrow is my first official day as a trainee Sergeant in the Police Force. A midst all the ‘kan-chiong-ness’, i’m looking forward to the training. Although smoking would be a tough challenge for me. Hoping that i have no sleepless night through out the training period.

New surroundings, new faces and new challenges. Bring the rain!

Krik, krik

krik, krik, people say i’m losing my mind,

krik, krik, is that the only word they can find?

krik, krik, i sold my soul for rock and roll,

krik, krik, that is why i’m losing control.

krik, krik, you raise my hopes up high,

krik, krik, you fucking shot me in the sky.

krik, krik, i have a ballsack with no balls,

krik, krik, might as well i smash my head against the wall.

krik, krik, can’t believe you can’t see how i feel,

krik, krik, it feels like you wearing a 6 inch heel.

krik, krik, peel my skin and you’ll see the real me,

krik, krik, oh wait, not right now, i have to pee.

krik, krik, colour my hair brown, yellow and blue,

krik, krik, you say i look like ‘mat’, i say ‘oh yea, fuck you’.

krik, krik, Rayban shades to avoid the sun,

krik, krik, oh how much i miss all the fun.

krik, krik, things change now, what can i do?

krik, krik, go to a mirror, and say ‘fuck you’.

krik, krik, you channel surf all day long,

krik, krik, you watch porn, you shout ‘wah, SONG!’.

krik, krik, love and crush are 2 different feelings,

krik, krik, like different people have different ear rings.

krik, krik, what happen? what did i do wrong?

krik, krik, now i remember, i took too long.

krik, krik, seems you’ve dissappear, unreachable,

krik, krik, what you’re doing to me, unbearable.

Krik, krik, so many questions. Where, what, why, how, when and who?

Krik, krik, 1 ultimate answer, fuck you

Weep, wail and die

Under the clam, still water,

there’s something lurking…

I once looked up to someone. Someone who taught me to take my time, to survive, taught me to respect people around you, to understand yourself before understanding others, taught me to look out for the weak and the small, to never run away from problems, taught me about the freedom of being a civilised boy, never be vengeful of others, taught me to honor your family and friends, to protect the beliefs and dreams to make it real and to appreciate life.

Life comes by only once, but death is inevitable.